Some honest word vomit about the past two weeks

For those who don’t know, I have been spending my last two weeks in training at the adventures in missions base. As excited as I am to start sharing my stories on the field, I feel it is equally important to share on how God and this environment have been shifting my heart in preparation for the next 11 months.

Going into training, I wasn’t sure where to set my expectations at as far as how comfortable/uncomfortable it would be. After experiencing it all I can definitely say that my guess was way off base. Most who know me also know that I’m outdoorsy and love to camp/ rough it and all that challenging stuff. Y’all I’m telling you this was a whole other level! My time here has forced me live in a constant state of abandonment. I feel as if my physical, spiritual and emotional structures have all been reworked through a rigorous process of refinement.

Some living conditions that I’ve had to adjust to were:

• Cold bucket showers
• Sleeping in wet tents with molding gear
• Smaller meal portioning
• Hand washing our clothes
• Getting cozy with all sorts of critters (snakes, spiders and rats to name a few)
• Consistently being spiritually and emotionally stretched
• Adjusting to this completely new atmosphere with 28 other strangers

Through this I have learned to let go of convenient living habits, social norms, personal desires and my comfortable understanding of God. The Savior that I had shoved to the side for most of my life, showed up for me in relentless pursuit of my heart. There were many times throughout this training that I felt unequipt and under qualified to accurately reflect God’s heart when I thought about going out to serve. One morning when I was feeling particularly down, I opened up my Bible hoping to find some miraculous encouragement. A side note on this, reading the Word has always been a difficult and distant task for me. I never really understood why some people felt like they got so much out of it, but with nothing else to turn to, I reluctantly opened mine that morning. I flipped through the New Testament until I felt prompted to stop and landed in 2 Thessalonians 3:3-5, “But the Lord is faithful, who will establish and guard you from the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord concerning you, both that you do and will do the things we command you. Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.”

That verse prompted the encouragement I needed to be confident in why He had called me here. With all that has happened, the Lord has slowly been redeeming broken parts of myself that I didn’t even realize were eating away at me. Pride, unforgiveness and bottled up emotions were just a few of many parts that have slowly been broken down and rebuilt. For so long I had been living in selfish pursuit of temporary flesh, BUT GOD, rich in his Grace, did not hesitate to bring healing to my wounds when I came before Him. Not only had He been restoring my brokenness, but also empowering me to become so much more than the vessel of bones that I am.

One of my favorite quotes by Oscar Wilde says, “to live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist, that is all.” So simple yet so true for many of us. Letting go of every comfort the world had to offer and setting out on this journey has made me feel more alive than ever. Letting that stuff go was NOT easy and there were many times when I felt like I wanted to quit. Eventually I came to realize that this radical change in my routine had begun to waken me from a stagnant state. A state that many of us do not realize we are in until we are forced to step outside of it. Not to say that comforts are bad, but having access to all we desire 24/7, I believe, prevents us from becoming more. More aware of ourselves and others; more capable of challenging ourselves; more in tune with what brings us actual joy instead of temporary happiness.

I would like to throw out a challenge to my readers. This week drop something that brings you comfort and replace it with something that may make you wince a bit. Regardless of how extreme you would like to go, my encouragement to you would be to live in abandonment this week. Spend some time each day being still and meditating on what it would look like to move yourselves out of your comfort zone. Sometimes this looks like sacrificing (ex: spending $5 on buying flowers for someone instead of your daily coffee), education (switch out your mindless time on social media to research something you’ve always been curious about), or replacement (exchanging a hot evening shower with a cold morning one). These are just a few examples of some things you could try. It may sound like a pointless exercise, but I can say from this experience that making sacrificial changes in routine radically shifted my perspective and challenged me to live above the stagnant state I had been trapped in.

I know that was a lot of words to digest, but I appreciate you for taking time to read about where my heart has been. It is so wild to think that so much has happened and we haven’t even officially begun. Tomorrow morning we fly out for Antigua, Guatemala and my team starts their first assignment in Sumpango. More updates to come! Please be praying for courage and peace as we set out into the unknown.

Much Love, Tris