The following is an excerpt I wrote on the plane leaving Guatemala. For a long time I went back and forth one what to write and how to wrap up all the complicated emotions into one post. Eventually I just started typing and what I ended up with, I don't think I can technically classify as a poem, but it is poetic nonetheless. Here is what spilled out.

More Than Hands Could Hold

As the plane leaves the ground 

Departing from the soil that has held me so warmly,

My mind is left to swim with all that has been experienced. 

It reminisces on the parts of myself I’m leaving behind, 

While also trying to understand the newfound pieces of me that were born.

These gifts are strange.

For what I have picked up in this place is more than hands could hold.

A pot of pure refinement that only the Lord on High could give.

Forged by the fires of sacrifice and love;

Freeing me from my rancid cages,

And setting me to roam in an unfamiliar place

That would quickly feel like home.

Leaning into a band of strangers 

That would quickly feel like family.

God you work in strange ways.

Yet blinded by the comforts of where I used to be, 

I can’t say I would’ve ever really met you like I have here

In the freckled faces of kids that captured my heart

In the times you’ve held me when I was holding others

In the early mornings on the rooftop

In the tears of the alcoholics

There you took my hand and showed me Kingdom culture

Goodbye frustration

Hello trust in the One who goes before me

Goodbye apathy

Hello tender heartedness

Goodbye comfort

Hello wild abandonment

These are the characteristics 

That I will to guide my decisions towards

They are precious to me as I have worked hard to earn them

And will fight with eager persistence to maintain the heavenly creature 

He has been forming.

What lies ahead,

I have no idea.

Darkness perhaps,

no most definitely.

But light is sure to rise, for He has already conquered the night.

A warrior is being built in uncertain places.

 Father, thank you for choosing me to fight for them.

To love them, cherish them and pray for them as you have.

The nations that form this Earth;

They are yours and you love them so deeply.

Thank you for this gift that goes beyond what my hands could ever hold.

So there it is. My final post on Guatemala. A quick update, we just arrived in Romania a few days ago so more to come on that soon. In the meantime, please be praying for the spirit of hopelessness that resides here. With all the conflict and war, there is evident disparity, so please be praying for this country and our time here.

Much Love- Tris