A Quick Study on What it Means to Fear the Lord

For a large portion of the past two weeks, I have spent my mornings in perpetual pools of sweat pouring concrete and investing in various other outdoor projects. It’s mornings like these where my muscles feel weak and irritability kicks in that I begin to regret my life choices. Although I have grown extensively in my heart posture, there are still many areas where I find myself growing frustrated with the Lord for the ways in which he makes me stoop. Even if I am stopped over for the sake and benefit of others, I have to admit it is not always with a joy filled attitude as some might assume I automatically entered into a constant state of on this trip. Most of the time, acts of obedience to the Lord are followed with a retaliating mindset derived from my self-centered core. Especially when it comes to the little things like allowing others to lead me, giving up media for the week, practicing servitude and all the other small ways God causes my flesh to squirm. “Why does He do this to me? It’s not like my ideas of relaxing are bad, so why does He need this from me today?”… are the type of questions that float around. Then there are the days when I am wrestling with evident sin either in terms of inner temptations or outward actions toward others. Sensing that I’m losing the battle, I find myself in prayer asking for the Lord to do his thing and transform me while giving me all the strength to yata yata xyz all the things I need to feel holy again, Amen! …. “Fear Me,” I hear Him say. “Umm excuse me Lord? I thought that we weren’t supposed to have the Spirit of fear but be given power from on high to rebuke all that”. Yet it was the same answer along with the gentle reminder from the Spirit that I really didn’t understand what it meant to properly fear God. Why is this so important anyways. Thus began a mini study on understanding the biblical definition of fearing God and the necessity behind its application. Below is the copied journal entry from my notes that I wrote the other day.

Journal Entry on 6/30/2023: What it Means to Fear the Lord

Psalm 17:2

“Let my vindication come from your presence…”

Job 28:28

“Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.”

Proverbs 8:13

“The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride, arrogance, the way of the wicked and perverted speech I hate.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13

“…to fear God is to keep His statutes..”

“As I meditate on this concept that has been on my heart, I realize it is more deeply rooted than some of the other virtues of godliness. Its biblical foundation is built upon the hatred towards evil which inherently goes against the flesh we cohabit daily. Fearing God goes hand in hand with hating our desires that are out of line with His Word and Will. It requires an increase of discernment and decrease of our preference. One cannot simply pray their way into the fear of God. It is a mindset obtained through the hard-pressed filter of the heart that affects us so deeply, that we no longer tolerate anything that is not of God for fear of missing out on His goodness and in reverence to His sovereignty in our lives. To fear the Lord is to truly be an enemy of the dark prince. When we know righteous fear, we know who the enemy is and a deeper understanding of our reality is made known to us.”

After this, I had to admit that I didn’t hate evil yet; I’m still learning to. One would think it would be an obvious reaction, but truthfully the enemy does a great job sugar coating and making us second-guess what we can actually call evil. Without proper fear of God, our foundation for obedience crumbles and our hearts grow resistant. Having that fear is what sustains the perspective of God’s goodness in His character; therefore, revealing everything He commands us to do is beneficial to us as well as others. That is where I was found lacking. It was hard for me to see that where I stooped for the sake of obedience, is where I was also being readied to receive in abundance. That is why the Proverbs claim it is the beginning of true wisdom and the gateway to deeper understanding. Though I already thought I had both, there is always more with God. In going deeper, there is always a painful process of stripping away what we once enjoyed or perspectives we proudly held. I’m still in the process of reconciling these feelings, but I do believe that the pieces in pain were the same ones that never suited me well in the first place. It is a process of removing the unnecessary so we are left to focus on the truly abundant and beautiful. Man is that harder said than done. 

In reference to our ministry, we just finished a construction project for the kid’s concession stand that included pouring a sidewalk and laying tile. This week we are going to replace some barbed fencing and make some new installments. We have less than two weeks left here so I’m thankful that we are finishing strong and giving them as much help as we can. My team continues to see the kids every evening and Saturday morning. It has been really sweet to see shy faces convert into familiar friends that continue to pursue us while inviting us into both their passions and mundaneness of life. Both boys’ homes always give us a workout playing hours of badminton, soccer or some other made-up game outside. The girls love crafts, card games and having us help them with their homework. It is special how we all connect with different kids and are able to build unique relationships in such a short time. 

I love them dearly and don’t want to leave. Saying goodbye is always the hardest part. Thailand has definitely been my favorite country overall. I truly love living here and am really going to miss my kiddos. This is going to be the last blog regarding race ministry. Crazy to think that such a big chapter is coming to a close. Continue to keep me in your prayers as I prepare for re-entry into the States and be praying for the Remember Nhu ministry and all the lives they are changing. God bless you all!

Much Love, Tris