No More Discounts

Those of you who have been following along with my blogs know that most of our ministry up to this point has been centered around building relationships. Initially I was skeptical of this method’s affect, but it has now become the most prominent and influential part of my race thus far. Although I am more of a hands on, “give me a task and I’ll get to” it type of person, learning to be vulnerable and have empathy for the people around me has truly given me a new heart for relationships. That being said, the main focus of our ministry here in Türkiye has been centered around manual labor. Now don’t get me wrong, I love projects and having work to do where you can see tangible progress. Having a full day makes me feel like my rest is well earned and I can fully appreciate the little things like a comfy bed and warm shower. However, I have been used to doing relational ministry for so long now, that it has been hard to acknowledge the work we are doing here as important. My brain feels sluggish and it seems like I just wake up everyday and go through the motions; not truly being present or taking in where I am. This is a scary feeling for me considering that I am typically very excitable and have a natural disposition to be in awe of new places. I’m not sure if it’s just because we are now well over half-way through the race and all the change is catching up to me, but I couldn’t seem to get stoked for the work we were doing here.

After sitting with this feeling for a bit and doing some outward processing, I’ve realized that the issue is comparison (the thief of all joy right). I have been subconsciously discounting the work done here because the physical transformation of a building doesn’t resonate with me as deeply as the transformation of a heart towards Christ impacted by relationship. The reality is they are two very different kinds of ministry, but both with equal value and impact under God. I mean how cool is it that I get to help build the foundation for the first house of worship in this city?! The work we do here will stand to last and impact believers in Türkiye for generations to come. Even though we may have to leave, the fruits of our labor will remain here and continue to multiply with the amount of people that building blesses. I definitely have the Lord to thank for landing that perspective on me because I sure did not come to it on my own😅. Our manual labor that looks like the same thing everyday with very little contact with the outside world is not half-off from the evangelical work or personable ministry we have done in the past. It is all intertwined to create the grand mural God illustrates in bringing His Kingdom to earth.

As I mentioned before, my mentality has been sluggish which has led to my work feeling robotic. In sensing that, I have been asking God to remind me that He is the grand author of this story and that He is setting everything in motion just as it should be. To also remind me that there is no “one thing” we set out here to do or one way ministry should be that is “world race approved.” There are no marks to hit or expectations to fulfill; everything is of God as long as we stay focused on Him being at the center of our efforts. There is no need to put pressure on myself to “make more” out of this experience. Everything is as it should be and in no way would I want things to change based on my limited perspective.

Aside from manual labor, a large focus for me here has also been reflection and being still with the Lord. Again I can be impatient with that process and find myself restlessly wanting to see immediate impact and results; but what is my impact in horizontal ministry really if I can’t strengthen my vertical relationship first? I catch myself feeling guilty if what I need is just to be still and sit with Him; taking the time to minister to my own soul instead of others. My conclusion is that this is the results of my fast paced mind trying to make up for the inconsistencies I continue to go through. The nice part about this experience is that there are forced times of allowed rest where you slow down enough to catch where your thinking has become unhealthy. Slowly but surely, I am learning not to discount the work being done here, and not to take for granted how powerful it is to have access to my Creator 24/7. I continue to pray that he Lord gives me fresh eyes to see the privilege of building the foundations we have before us. I want to start making the most out of a “little” in this season. Cherishing what we do get to participate in and not getting greedy with expectations.

My encouragement to anyone reading this would be not to discount any work either you or the Lord is doing in your life right now. Everything is fashioned for a specific time and purpose always; even in the dull seasons. My prayer for you all is that you will be given fresh eyes to look at the little things in life with wonder and excitement. May He who gives every good and perfect gift bless you tenfold in your efforts to glorify Him, love each other and edify yourselves.

Much Love, Tris